Letting Our Light Shine

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” —- Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech —-
~~~ Maryanne Williamson

Sitting around the dinner table tonight, Shane and I shared the historical significance of Barack Obama's  election with our children.  They do not realize how compelling the story is.  They have not heard our elders use racial epitaphs.  They have not heard our parents' generations sit idly while these slurs were spewed out.  They have not heard relatives tell us the curses if we were to ever marry someone or deeply befriend one of another race.  Through blessings of their time in history, they know only about the generosity of the human heart.   This is not a big deal to them, anyone who works hard enough and believes can be president.   I personally believed it, but I shamefully admit that deep down I was not sure the greater populace believed.  I saw too narrowly through the lenses of racism that still shows a glimpse at the underbelly of America, proliferated by sensationalist news coverage.  The media failed to offer a balance and show the depth of compassion, of hope, of our belief of our own greatness in their coverage.    As my pastor reminded us today, God is still speaking, and a renewed sense of who we are and can be as individuals and as a country is now on display.  I pray we can live up to our call.   Not only for our nation, but so we can be a beacon of light for the world.    True prosperity is shining brightly across our country tonight!   Ubuntu.

In the World Not In My Head

Being present to one another seems so simple, but it probably is the most difficult task I have.    I wonder how much more kind I could be to others if I paid full attention.   I am talking about with my kids, with my husband, with my friends, the cashier at the grocery store, the massage therapist, the trees (yes the trees too!)    Today I am feeling such a strong desire to get out of my cage (which sometimes is my head and other times my all too perfect life) and be more present to the stories of humanity locally and globally.  I am not talking about reading them, I do that all of the time.   I am talking about experiencing them.    I need to go globe trotting!!!

I am working on an immigrant and refugee integration initiative with United Way.   We are reviewing grant requests now and trying to figure out how to create a welcome center for this population.  The center would help our brothers and sisters integrate more easily into the community.   Going through this process can be such an intellectual exercise.   Remembering too pause and listen, to really listen to what we need from one another is difficult.    Does anyone have the magic formula?   I know, I know, meditate.    I need to be in the constant state because my head is a pretty strong and an amazing beast!   It is somewhat threatened by the graceful and resilient softer side of my spirit.   Whew....oh well, it is the battle of the ages (certainly this is more fun for me to watch than the battle of the sexes).    

Losing our Economic Sovereignty

Tomorrow is my birthday.   I find myself as I grow older thinking about the generations who will follow me.   I grow angry as I watch parts of humanity disregard their responsibility to those that will follow us.    We live it time of political expediency, reactive consumerism, and lagging environmentalism.    

Our government announced this week that the taxpayers would offer financial institutions a $700 billion package to buy their troubled loans.    I object strongly.    Our Republican colleagues speak about self sufficiency yet our debt has grown to unwieldy levels.   $400 billion a year is sucked out of our pocket books to pay the interest alone.    The debt ceiling has to be raised about $10 trillion to offer this package to financial institutions.    

Let's face it, we all benefited from the booming economy of the last several years.  The fed funds hovered around 1 percent, credit was flowing to those who could not afford to pay for it.   What do we expect, our government has acted in the same way.    We have relied on foreign countries to buy our debt.  If no country bought the debt, credit would not have been so fluid.    The countries will demand better rates in the future because the U.S. is no longer viewed as the safest investment.   Our debt payments will increase and credit will tighten some.    We are losing our economic sovereignty.  

Who will pay for it?   We will, our children will, and their children will.  The debt is simply too high to expect it will be retired in our generation.    So the companies and their executives benefitted from the free flowing credit, with high profits, big bonuses, and exercised stock options.  I am sure that my bonuses were bigger because of the strength of my bank's performance.    But now we must deal with the fall out, tighten our belts, and deal responsibly with the problem.

I do understand why dramatic answers seem to be necessary.  If banks can't loan between themselves because credit markets are freezing, many will fail, consumer confidence will be shaken.   The economy will further falter.    Yet, we are resilient - our we perhaps on course correction that changes our relationship with money and what we consume.    Maybe that is not so bad?   

Finding Extraordinary in the Ordinary

Our Soldiers

I am a pacificist.   I accept that war is sometimes unavoidable, but usually is because of our own collective failings from years or decades ago.   Also, to avoid some wars almost perfect knowledge and foresight is necessary.   I firmly do not support the Iraq war and had struggled with soldiers who chose to fight.   I am becoming more aware of the incredible bravery of these men and women along with the sacrifices they make.

Many choose to fight for us, for me, without regard for if we are aware or thankful for their sacrifices.   Whatever has moved them, they believe their service is necessary to serve humanity or their country.   While I still have a different view of the war, I thank those who sacrifice so much in pursuit of what they believe.   I pray that we all may have wisdom when making choices that involve life and death.    

The Highest Goal

I am re-reading this book called The Highest Goal.  The author encourages the readers to reflect on their purpose.  I have been contemplating about my purpose for years, and have been expecting that it will reveal itself with flashing lights.  This is your purpose, now go do it!   With frustration, I am admitting that has not happened.   The book is based on a class the author teaches at Stanford, giving young college students a foundation for which to start their adult life (where was that when I needed it).    The author will shatter your dreams if you think that your highest goal is to feed the homeless, build schools, run for office, or make a million bucks.  Our highest goal relates to having complete awareness of the energy that sustains us, it reveals itself differently to all of us, but is rooted in the same principles.  



In one exercise, we, all of us readers, think back to our earliest childhood memory of feeling like we were in the flow, connected, etc.   As a side note, if I am a child and thinking about flow and connected, I would say when I was playing Twister.   But, being more educated now, I can tackle this challenge.    When I was no more than 7, I would venture off with my friends to a field with a creek, trees, and no houses for as far as a 7 year old could see.  This was at least a quarter mile away from home.   I know you must be asking "your mom let you do this when you were so young?"  I am asking that question now too, but it never crossed my mind then.  Mom, what were you thinking!



This creek, surrounded by cottonwood trees, offered me serenity.  I could stomp through it, ponder what critters lived in it, what the generations before thought about it.    I felt part of the larger system called life.    Fast forward to the age of 10, we lived in the "country" with 10 acres of open field behind our house.   I could disappear into the field and trees anytime I wanted to reflect on nothing.  Pondering nothing was important when you had an obnoxious brother and sister (this is past tense, John and Pam).     Did you ever lie in a pile of snow, with only the sound of your breath, watching the clouds move overhead?     The connection with all that surrounded me coalesced in my breath.   



When I was 15, my best friend and I, hung post it notes with peace signs all over the city where we went to school.  We really believed we could make a difference.   Sure you chuckle now.   We were united in our purpose, and simply our intention that the world would be better, I am sure had an impact.    I felt connected with the yearning of all of the others around the world, who yearned for peace.     We unconsciously came together in this system.   How is that for easy teamwork?    Unfortunately, we were not too green minded, or would not have scattered so many reams of paper.  



We have a raging creek in our backyard today, surrounded by trees.   My 9 year old daughter sits out and watches it flow, she connects with the life around her, and becomes one with the system we call life.    



I think I have completed my assignment now.   My highest goal is to bring my awareness to the connectivity (communing) we share with each other, the trees, and animals.life.      I wonder what the next chapter in my book brings.   I hope it gives me an instruction manual on how to execute with flashing lights! 

What does "ubuntu" mean?

Ubuntu is a South African tribal word whose essence means "I am
because we are." South Africans ground themselves in this philosophy
which has led to the healing of their country following the atrocities
of apartheid. Our humanity is linked by an extraordinary bond of
divine love. Our humanity is much deeper than our experiences, race,
religion, or gender. We are one.

Skin, blood, fat, bone cells, etc. collectively make up our individual
bodies. Similarly we as individuals are part of one larger body -
humankind. When an organ fails the body weakens or dies. When one of
us suffers we all are diminished. When we are strong, recognizing our
interdependence, we flourish. This is a simple observation in
nature, which we are part of not separate from.

Yesterday, I was commissioned for a leadership role in my church. I
have held mid executive management positions with large financial
institutions. I always step into these roles feeling confident of my
ability. Yet the role I stepped into yesterday, left me feeling
ordinary. Wonderfully ordinary. I humbly agreed to this calling.
Before, I agreed I questioned how would I one day lead this
organization whose only mission is to transform lives. Many who
walked before me had much more religions moxie than I. I can't even
find the words to pray without stumbling and sounding like a religious
neophyte. Or worse, a monotone inauthentic wannabe patriarch...aagh
(come on you know the type, where is the bravado of the spirit?!)
Okay, that is a whole different conversation. One day and every day
my words will match the omnipresent spirit that moves me (happens
occasionally, especially if I don't think I am praying).

Back to my original point. There I stood, plain ordinary me, holding
hands with my equally ordinary friends. Yet in a pause we felt the
Presence and recognition that those we were holding hands with were
not ordinary individuals (just like those red blood cells are not much
good on their own), we were one body. Then exactly the opposite
feeling of what I was expecting happened.

As we stood in the center, we were now center stage - all powerful,
with our energy radiating out to the masses that would follow our
steps. Nope, wrong (another knock to the good old ego) The outgoing
leaders, those returning to the flock, those we would now lead,
encircled and prayed for us. Their energy shot directly to the core
of this circle, the zing went through our nerves, feeding our souls,
and calming our fears. We were all one.

As a religious neophyte, I, who surprisingly have been called to one
day be a lay leader of this flock, felt the blessing of being ordinary
while being blanketed by the extraordinary. Ubuntu.